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I heard it again this past week.
The response that grates on my nerves.
The response I often get when people find out we homeschool.
The response that people don’t really mean.
The response that I used to give before we started homeschooling.
That response is…
“Homeschooling? I could NEVER do that!!”
To give you some context, the conversation usually goes something like this…
- Other Person: “Where do your kids go to school?”
- Me: “We homeschool.”
- Other Person: “Oh, wow! Homeschooling? I could NEVER do that!”
It’s been my experience that when people say “I could never do that” they don’t really mean it. They actually mean one or more of the following:
- “I have all kinds of preconceived misconceptions about why homeschooling is hard and impractical. I would never want to do that.”
- “I think homeschooling sounds inadequate and ineffective. I don’t think it’s a good idea to do that.”
- “I’m not familiar with homeschooling and new things are scary. I’m afraid of that.”
- “I met a homeschooler once and they were so weird! I don’t understand that.”
- “I’m unsure about my own educational decisions so your choice to homeschool makes me insecure. I’m uncomfortable with that.”
But, in an effort to reply politely after being caught off guard, what they usually say instead of their actual thoughts is “I could never do that.”
Years ago, before my family started homeschooling, I recall saying the exact same thing on several occasions. And I meant all of those ulterior meanings.
I hadn’t really heard of it. It sounded difficult and weird. And most of all, I was insecure about my own parenting decisions. At that time, my mental image of “home education” was mostly misconception and very little fact.
I might step on some toes by saying this (but the older I get, the less I care about people’s toes)…
Here’s what all these underlying notions have in common: The person saying “I could never homeschool” generally hasn’t given homeschooling serious thought.
The people who HAVE seriously considered homeschooling answer differently. The people familiar with home education through their own research or from first- or secondhand experience don’t say “I could never do that.” Instead, after learning my family homeschools, they give responses like this:
- “I looked into that for my son, but I don’t think its a good fit for us right now.”
- “I was homeschooled during elementary school and I’m so glad I was! I think if I have kids someday I might homeschool them.”
- “Oh really? I’ve been thinking about homeschooling lately since my daughter will be four soon. I think we want to try it but I have no idea where to start!”
- “Oh wow, how interesting! My cousin homeschools and is struggling. Do you have any suggestions for her?”
- “Good for you! We homeschooled for my kids’ high school years and I just graduated my last son in May! I only wish we’d have started sooner!”
In other words, people who HAVE thought about it (or at least take it seriously as an option) give more nuanced answers. They might say “it’s not the right fit” or “I wish we could, but we can’t make it work right now,” but they usually don’t give the all-or-nothing response, “I could NEVER do that.”
What Do YOU Think About Homeschooling?
Are you someone who has thought or said you could never homeschool? If so, ask yourself why.
Is it possible you just think it sounds too hard or unconventional? Or maybe you’re worried you might ruin your kids’ lives or they’d have no friends. I bust all these common myths and more in my book, Think About Homeschooling: What It Is, What It Isn’t, & Why It Works.
Whether you ever read my book or not, please don’t let your reason for not homeschooling be because of some preconceived misconception that isn’t even true!
If you don’t want to homeschool, that’s no problem. But come to that conclusion AFTER you’ve considered all your options and made an educated choice based on reality and not false assumptions!
I’ll wrap up with a silly analogy.
If I told you “I could NEVER cook lasagna” and my reasons were…
- I’m not a professional chef
- I don’t know how to grow wheat and turn it into noodles
- I don’t have twelve hours a day to spend in the kitchen
…you’d tell me I’m way off base, right? True, making lasagna isn’t as easy as cracking open a can of Spaghetti-O’s. But the reasons I gave for “never” being able to make lasagna aren’t accurate at all! I might be missing out on my new favorite food just because I’m making decisions based on wrong assumptions!
Homeschooling is like lasagna. The easiest choice? Probably not. Messy? Sometimes. Worth it? Absolutely!
The truth is, if you WANT to homeschool or think you SHOULD homeschool, you probably can. Homeschooling is just an extension of the parenting you’re already doing! You don’t have to do everything yourself and you don’t have to do it alone! If you’re deciding whether or not to homeschool, or if you’re working up the courage to try it, check out these encouraging, getting-started posts here.
Educating my kids at home has been one of the most amazing, life-changing experiences for my own family. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that fifteen years ago I was the one saying “Homeschooling? I could NEVER do that!”
I CAN do that, I HAVE done that, and you can, too!
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